windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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