she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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