it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
