I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
