She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
