when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
