Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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