When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
