You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
