The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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