i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
bring money and cleavage
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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