Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
