The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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