First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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