She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
