Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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