This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
