Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
