yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
