My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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