My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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