we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
