i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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