Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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