Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
