wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
