If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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