that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
