Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
