I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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