Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
