i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
