he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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