question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
