some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
