The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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