Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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