OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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