dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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