***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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