I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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