Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
