if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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