So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just google imaged poop.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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