so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
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I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
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I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left