went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
