I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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