Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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