Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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