I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
