Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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