So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
