he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
