I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
