3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
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You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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