we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize