im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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