Midget sex pt 2 tonight
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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