if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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