He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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