He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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