I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
